Discourage

or do I just need a nap?

Every morning Fatima would wake up feeling great, even though she had been able to sleep a couple of hours longer. But from time to time Fatima felt discouraged. This usually happened after a couple of hours had already passed in the day. Fatigue would set in for the whole afternoon. After cooking and eating dinner, there would come a moment of such pure and high energy that the discouragement would disappear completely and Fatima would enter again into a state of ecstasy and motivation that no one had ever seen before, new recipe ideas, flavors never had tried before, unusual taste pairs that would just astonish even the most skeptical. But the next day, the fatigue would return, just like that. In this state of discouragement, Fatima would fight with her own mind, struggling to feel better, she couldn’t see that it was just the discouragement produced by the fatigue of great amounts of work and that there was nothing really wrong with her.

One afternoon of friends, desserts, and more coffee than needed, Fatima discussed the matter with several people and discovered the normality of the matter. Creative minds, apart from creating, are forced to earn a living, do the laundry, cook lunch, take care, and then come to the act of creating. It is not an easy task or life.

Sometimes Fatima thinks about what would have happened if she had decided to be a banker instead of a cook. She thought she would earn a lot of money and in her free time she could devote herself to cooking those creations, to seeking those flavors that came to her mind like messages sent from the universe while she was walking in the woods or standing in line at the supermarket.

But really, Fatima had no alternative but to be a cook. She constantly forgot how happy she made those who were lucky enough to receive a pie, a risotto, or even a couple of scrambled eggs from her labra. How the hours flew unnoticed while she was in the kitchen, with the flour, the herbs, the vegetables, and grains, was a sign that she had no other choice but to be a cook. It was a gift and some gifts -depending on the day- might seem a curse or a blessing.

Vocation, passion, falling in love, or nostalgia can’t really be decided on. It just happens. Every day, when these low notes come, Fatima tries to distance herself and remember that it may just be tiredness, and if it becomes true demotivation or apathy, she tries to remind herself that it is a matter of time. It is normal to wish for another person’s life, a life that resembles more simplicity, and more ease. But when it comes down to it, Fatima could not or would not want to spend her days without smelling the rosemary or basil as she churns the butter and waits patiently for the sublime baked bread.

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My Week on Senses

👂The birds and nature sounds every morning

👀 Watching Nicolas Uribe paint and hearing what he could learn from Japanese artist Kouta Sasai

👅 At this moment I am travelling through Ticino in Switzerland and oh deer, I’ve been enjoying so much italian food ❤

👐 My hands have been all over the camera. Trying to capture these days and this moment of my life forever

👃 Spring!

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